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Monday, 27 July 2015 09:45

25 Reasons Why You Should Never Visit Gran Canaria

There's nothing in Gran Canaria but tourists There's nothing in Gran Canaria but tourists

Some people think Gran Canaria is a spectacular destination with everything from the world's best beaches to jaw-dropping landscapes and a vibrant local culture and food scene. They are completely wrong and here are 25 reasons why you should never visit the island.

 There is nothing in Gran Canaria except resortsDune dawn at Maspalomas

 

Nothing, zip, nada, it's all one big tourist ghetto 

Puerto de las nieves harbour

 

Made of cement and old bottles of sunscreen held together with mankini straps

The Maspalomas lighthouse at sunset

 

All the palm trees are plastic

Guayedra valley in west Gran Canaria

 

And because it never, ever rains

Agaete Valley rainbow and palms

 

It's so hot and dry that there are no flowers

Arguineguin tree with flowers and table

 

And because nobody lives here, the only food comes in packages

Authentic tapas in Gran Canaria

 

And we don't mean this kind of package

bananas growing in Gran Canaria

 

There are, of course, no local towns or villages

Carrizal de Tejeda hamlet in Gran Canaria

 

And therefore, no local fiestas or culture

La Rama fiesta in Agaete, Gran Canaria

 

There is definitely nothing to see in Gran Canaria

Roque Nublo Sunset

 

No mountains, no forests, no landscapes. You might find a rock to sit on, but only if you're lucky

West coast road in Gran Canaria

 

So, just in case you're still thinking of visiting Gran Canaria

Las Palmas city and Las Canteras beach

 

The beaches are always packed

Montaña la Arena beach

 

The resorts are dated and crowded

Gloria Palace San Agustin Chill Out bar at sunset

 

Even the weather isn't what it's cracked up to be

Las Canteras beach and water

 

Only 320 days of sunshine each year and average temps barely above 20ºC? Pfff!

Puerto de Mogán in Gran Canaria

 

It's not good enough, especially when the palm trees get shade all over the beach

Las Marañuelas beach in Arguineguín, Gran Canaria

 

And somebody put boats on the sand instead of loungers

Burrero beach

 

Ridiculous

Las Palmas carnival on the beachfront

 

Nothing to see here

Sardina town and beach

 

 No no no!

Maspalomas Princess pool

 

Coffee comes in jars

Coffee growing in Gran Canaria

 

The sea is behind you. Get in it!Surfers on Las Canteras beach

 

There you go, it's all over; Gran Canaria has run out of sunshineRoque Nublo Stars

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