A cold, wet front is due to sweep over the Canaries on Sunday and Monday, but the sunshine will be back afterwards.
Gran Canaria Info puts your business right in front of thousands of Gran Canaria visitors every day.
The annual sand nativity scene on Las Canteras beach is the world's biggest and a must visit if you come to Las Palmas in December.
This week starts with a sunny, windless Monday with temperatures in the high twenties; Pretty much perfect weather.
There’s a lot to look forward to on this route, it’s one of my favorites, a typical Sunday ride with everything in it, climbs, descents, technical sections and a tail wind home!, so as a quick run through, we start from the get go on a 11km climb to 460m, another 17km to 951m, long descent with sharp climbs back up to 600m then a descent gradual to sea and coast road home.
If you want to use a photo or two for your personal website or blog then yes. Do let us know.
If you want to use them for commercial purposes (profit-making website, book, brochure, etc) then please get in touch or visit our professional photography page.
90% of travel writing is SEO-optimised, cliche-riddled drivel. Or at least it feels that way when you live in Gran Canaria.
When did travel writers stop writing about their experiences and become review monkeys? When did mediocrity become the bar? When did they just give up?
We've had enough of grinding our teeth every time the Google Alert hits our inbox so we've put together this guide for travel writers heading this way.
All articles must have one of the following in the first paragraph:
Explorers discover things during adventures. Then they write about them. In the third person. The only way is epic.
Had a boring Gran Canaria week short on epic events?
Just cram the entire island into 600 words. Capture its essence as nobody has before.
You know you can do it.
Book a package because it's cheap, stay in a resort because its convenient, do your exploring in a Jeep Safari with a foreign guide.
There's no need for more. It's only a little island and you can see it all from the road.
In fact, why come at all?
Google is your friend.
Go heavy on the word unique but never provide context: It needs no explanation.
Don't forget the other essentials:
All other describing words are redundant.
Use the words traditional and sustainable. It doesn’t matter where: Just get them in.
The word literally can literally be used anywhere.
Words that you don't use in everyday conversation make you sound clever. Like a writer.
Alliterate alot always
English is too short: Puff it out with wills, woulds, shoulds, coulds, cans, be able tos, etc.
The active voice is nasty. It scares people. Passive and cuddly is best.
Never check facts and always hedge in case somebody disagrees.
It's better to be vague than risk negative comments. Google doesn't like negative comments.
In the lively resorts, hotels must perch, pools shimmer, you hit the sun-drenched beaches along with hordes of tourists, cash is splashed, the Yumbo is nudge, nudge, wink,wink (insert funny joke).
Off the beaten track the mountains float in the air, remote villages nestle quaintly, views are panoramic and breathtaking, markets and fiestas are colourful and vibrant and full of friendly locals.
Fataga is picturesque.
Food is always succulent, mouth-watering and delectable. You partake of it in hidden gems that you stumble across..
There are no local people in Gran Canaria except friendly ones dressed up in traditional costume dancing charmingly at authentic local fiestas. Or charismatic ones manning hidden gems. If you must mention a local in any other context, make sure it's a resort barman with a dodgy accent.
Once your article is published your work has just started:
A retweet is a read. A review is a book deal.
You're almost there.
Bonus bleeding edge tip: Change the title of your old stuff and repost it as new. Do this often and without warning.
Got an original, quality piece of writing about Gran Canaria? Sure? Let us know and we'll publish it on Gran Canaria Info with a link back to your personal website.
Who are you?
We're Lex Thoonen and Alex Bramwell and we've run this website about Gran Canaria since 1998. We've both lived on the island for years and spend as much time as possible roaming about finding new things to see and do here.
Can I use your photos on my website?
Please feel free to use them on your personal website and social media pages, but please don't crop out the watermark. If you want to use our images professionally please visit our easy to use picture website PhotosGranCanaria.
I hate you and your opinions about Gran Canaria
We love Gran Canaria and try to be as positive and useful as possible for our audience. If you disagree with us about something please let us know. If we're wrong we'll change it and if we're not we'll explain why. Otherwise, just ignore us.
My Gran Canaria business isn't featured on the website. How can I change that?
Contact us by email and we'll be in touch. We feature new attractions and businesses every week.
How do I advertise my business on Gran Canaria Info?
We offer a range of advertising options. Please contact us via email and we'l get back to you ASAP.
Can I publish an article or blog post on your website?
Yes, if it's good quality, unpublished, original and mostly about Gran Canaria. No if it's a badly written mass of cliches, old content, or a plug for your business. Please read our style guide and then email us.
We read dozens of articles about Gran Canaria every week. Most of the time it hurts. In fact, you've got more chance of finding an original piece about the island as you do of finding a Canarian in the Puerto Rico Shopping Centre.
Enough is enough.
We've decided to kill the cliché and murder the tired metaphor so we've put our heads together and set the bar high:
Here's our style-guide for Gran Canaria Info articles.
By the way, if we break our own rules, please feel free to shout at us.
The essential clichés
No article can be published without one of the following insightful themes:
Starting with a pun on the island's roundness
Saying it's like Spain but different
Setting out to explore the other, real, Gran Canaria
Revealing that it's an island of contrasts
Mentioning the tourist bight, sprawl, plague, etc, within two sentences
Referring to Gran Canaria as la Isla Bonita (that's La Palma)
Discover Stuff: You're an explorer
To write in an original way you must discover a secret beach, explore a hidden valley or scale a rugged peak. Seeing the resorts and popular beaches with a fresh eye isn't worth considering. Do not under any circumstances focus on details but rather always try to cram the entire island into 400 words.
Do stay in a resort and explore the rest of the island in a day on a Jeep Safari. You'll see it all. In your article only mention the day out.
Scrape the surface: Make as little effort as possible to find anything interesting during your visit. If you must delve, delve into Google.
Unique and wonderful vocabulary
Go heavy on the word unique. Use it at least every sentence and don't both to explain why anything is unique: The readers already know. If you think you're using it too often just switch to 'perfect'.
Fascinating, gorgeous, wonderful, incredible, amazing, picture postcard perfect, etc are also perfectly viable alternatives. All other describing words are redundant.
Use the words traditional and sustainable at least once per article. It doesn’t matter where: Just get them in. Combined with “perfect example of” they get you double points.
The word nice is due for a revival: Use it often as it makes your prose incisive.
The word literally is free. Slap it on the page.
Use words like impart, integrated, intense: Any word that you don't use in everyday conversation makes you sound clever. Better still, combine several beginning with the same letter in one phrase: Alliteration is always fun.
Help us get the word amazeballs off the Twittersphere and into quality prose. The world needs it.
English is too short: Make sure you puff out your prose with lots of wills, woulds, shoulds, coulds, can.
The active voice is nasty. Passive is always the way to go.
Mince the metaphor, crunch the cliché
In the lively resorts, hotels perch, pools are situated, you hit the sun-drenched beaches along with hordes of tourists, cash is splashed, the Yumbo is nudge, nudge, wink,wink (insert funny joke).
Off the beaten track the mountains float in the air above you, remote villages nestle quaintly, views are panoramic and breathtaking, markets and fiestas are colourful and vibrant and full of friendly locals.
Food is always succulent, mouth-watering and delectable. You stumble upon charming local restaurants that are always hidden gems.
Facts get in the way
Facts are so yesterday. Only check yours by referencing other articles found on Google. Get at least one basic fact per article so wrong that it makes the reader's teeth grind. It makes your words memorable.
Locals, what locals
There are no local people in Gran Canaria except friendly ones dressed up in traditional costume dancing charmingly at authentic local fiestas. If you must mention a local in any other context, make sure it's a barman with a dodgy accent.
Narrate to irritate
Refer to yourself in the third person. It's what the queen does and if its good enough for German pensioners, then it's good enough for you.
You need a nickname. Pick one that nobody has ever called you for real authenticity.
Tell the reader all about yourself. They care more about you than about the destination. Include lots of personal details that are unrelated to the content. Blurry photos of your family get you noticd on social media.
Engage with the audience
Beg for likes on social media: People will admire your determination
Post a link repeatedly just in case somebody missed it the first 23 times.
Join a web ring, blog ring, book club or any other network dedicated to sharing each other's content. Promote your buddy's irrelevant content to your audience.
Change the title of your old stuff and repost it as new. Do this often and without warning.
Photos are essential: Include blurry, cloudy and downright terrible ones to boost your reach. If your camera is broken use one of the 10 free photos available on Flickr or Creative Commons. Or steal from the internet: Never credit the photographer.
Want to submit a guest post to Gran Canaria Info? Please use the above as a guide and include plenty of links to your online casino or Viagra shop. We'll definitely publish it on the front page.